Oftentimes when I open my social media accounts, my timeline would be flooded with motivational write-ups on how to not just keep a man but continually keep him interested in a relationship else he slips, and for ages women have been taught in different dimensions and ways to keep Mr. Right, or better still drag him to the altar and make him put a ring on it. I guess the term wife material is coined from the attributes a woman of marriageable age should acquire to make her qualified for the wife title. It’s often about what a woman should do and shouldn’t do, and there have been a lot of self-help books about what men want.
Let’s look at this scenario: Handsome Mr. Romeo met beautiful Miss Juliet and felt attracted to her enough to collect her number. They spoke and he invited her to his house. On getting to the house of a prospective boyfriend, she found the house in a total mess. Empty cans of soda lying on the floor, dirty pilled clothes, dirty plates dumped in the sink already stinking, and caked food. Being uncomfortable she decided to help clean up. Sleeves folded, swept, cleaned, washed, and organized his house. I guess most women would roll their eyes and pretend to see no evil (laughs). After all, if he needed a house help he should get one because they wouldn’t be cleaning up after a grown man. Well, Miss Juliet spent the day that was supposed to be a romantic date – of getting well acquainted with each other – cleaning. Guess what? Mr. Romeo assumed Miss Juliet was desperate and invading his space. After Miss Juliet had gone home, Mr. Romeo didn’t return her calls. In a situation where the girl decided to turn blind eyes to his messy house thereby sitting pretty and crossed her legs, Mr. Romeo would be of the inclination that Miss Juliet wasn’t a wife material.
How many yards of wife material do some men really need? Because some of the materials are not even found at Main Market, Onitsha, and neither are they found in Balogun Market, Lagos. I got a call from an old friend and a conversation ensued between us after pleasantries, of course. He said he was looking for a wife and solicited my service of playing Cupid. Well, believe me, Cupid is one thing I really don’t like playing so that in future I wouldn’t be called to settle issues or dragged into matters that don’t concern me. So I deliberately insinuated that women were everywhere. All he had to do was find his spec and wife her. According to him, women were everywhere but wives were scarce. I rolled my eyes and sighed. So I inquired about what he actually wanted in a woman. According to him, he wants a woman who is God-fearing – at least she should be able to pray three hours a day –, business-oriented, hard-working, skilled in bed with low body count, great at cooking, homely, humble with good dress sense… Let me not delve into the physical attributes he listed. I told him to mold her himself and quickly exempted myself from playing Cupid.
Sometimes listing out what you want from a woman as a wife material breeds a pretentious woman who instead of being herself would twist herself into shapes to fit your mirage, and you would cry foul when you finally marry her and find out she was pretending to get herself wifed. It’s definitely okay to have choices but you won’t find it all in a woman. As long as she’s teachable she will adjust to your desire. Then the attributes of a wife material don’t guarantee a woman a place in a man’s heart – I have seen cases where a man dated a young woman who exhibited the qualities of a wife material. She would cook for him, clean after him, pray for him with finances and emotions invested in the relationship; and the man, when it was time for him to make an honest woman out of her, threw her to the curb and married a woman that doesn’t even know how to cook neither does she bother cleaning up after him and treats her better than he did the ex. I would say there is no manual for keeping a man so don’t overplay your role in his life because you want him to put a ring on it. You are not a rehabilitation center for badly raised men. A man that will marry you will definitely marry you despite your killing yourself to impress him. Sometimes they know within the two hours of meeting a woman if they want to spend the rest of their lives with her. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to do domestic chores for your beloved but not to your own detriment and not because you are expecting some kind of commitment in return, but because you want to help. So that tomorrow you won’t say after cleaning his bathroom he left me for that Cheta.