By Nneamaka Onochie
As women mostly African women it’s hush-hush when it comes to sex. Sex discussions seems aborminable else we would be seen as crass and immodest. Women have been conditioned to pretend not to like sex or to detest it. Well, it shouldn’t be that way. It’s no fault of ours having been induced to extreme forms of modesty. Isnt it pretentious when we act like we don’t know what sex meant, like we don’t have sex yet we do the most behind closed doors. Most women fake orgasm because though they don’t derive sexual satisfaction, they wouldn’t want to burst the bubble of their partner and inflict serious injury on his ego so they fake orgasm and the pleasures of intimacy. The truth is that some married women have never reached orgasm.
I was reading a post on a blog the other day and a woman complained that she barely initiates sex in her marriage. The few times she initiated sex her husband hurled ugly words at her which included calling her harlot and irresponsible so do you think this type of woman would ever seek for sexual satisfaction from her hubby? Well, I don’t think so. Dear woman, you are sexual and soulful. It’s time we change the narrative of hushed deprived pleasures. Sex is an essential part of marriage and should be immerserly enjoyed. You have the right to initiate sex, yes demand for it from your partner your sexual needs deserves urgent attention. It’s okay to bask in your femaleness.
Men on the other hand should lend helping hands to there women. Some men don’t care about the satisfaction of their women, they don’t even bother with foreplay or setting her in the mood. Some would just jump on the woman and once they are satisfied it doesn’t matter if their women enjoyed it or not. They would just roll over and start snoring leaving the woman all hot and bothered, deprived and unsatisfied. Dear men it’s wickedness to leave your woman all high and hot while you are sated. Pleasure your wife and help her reach orgasm. There are many things orgasm does to a woman. It strengthens the fingernails and hairs, it smoothers unflattering lines, removes anxiety and depression. It gives your woman a inexplicable glow and she will give you peace.
Woman learn to demand, yes I said it. It’s okay to send your partner a message while he is in the office and set the mood of intimacy. Send messages like ” honey I can’t wait to visit the cloud nine with you tonight, baby I cant wait for us to take a trip to the milky way galaxy tonight” by so doing you are subtly demanding. Never underestimate the power of planting a seed. When consumed in intimacy guide his hands to your erotic zones and soft spots during the deed, you are subtly demanding and teaching him where to touch. It’s okay to say “baby not there, yes you can touch there and don’t stop” communicate gently with your partner in the bedroom during the act and by so doing you are prioritizing your satisfaction and everyone comes out satisfied. It’s not okay faking orgasm, it’s wrong lying that you climaxed while in the actual sense you didn’t. He is your partner for crying out loud explore your sexual fantasies with him. You can have a weekend of explosive sex and bond as couple. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and don’t be shy about your pleasures. Be open minded when it comes to intimacy with your partner. Every woman especially married women deserves an orgasm, don’t just lie down there and pretend to enjoy it. You should actually be involved while enjoying it.